


Bittersweet Cyanide

by despashito



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secret Relationship, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27953831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/despashito/pseuds/despashito
Summary: **(TRIGGER WARNING)** This story contains suicidal ideations (and an almost-attempt), self-harm, parental maltreatment, somewhat graphic description of a death. Please be warned, do not read this story if you are triggered or feel uncomfortable by those topics. Also, spoilers for the chapter 5 execution of DRTHH.Naegi's fate is approaching. Bang, the piston's booms resonate against the classroom walls. Togami cannot look away, feeling ever so helpless, watching the love of his life about to be crushed. He cannot help the memories flooding in, either, and only craves the sweet embrace of his lover..
Relationships: Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura (Minor), Hagakure Yasuhiro/Kuwata Leon (Minor), Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	Bittersweet Cyanide

**Author's Note:**

> More trigger warnings: Pills are mentioned, nausea/vomiting is mentioned.  
> By the way, Alter Ego is referred to as they/them in this story. If you are bothered by that, please do not persist with any possible hate you may have and carry on with your day, thank you! :)

_Bang._

The large piston that kept smashing itself against the conveyor belt, it interrupts Togami's chaotic train of thought. He watches his boyfriend, Naegi, redden almost feverishly, with sweat beads popping from his forehead, daring to race down his face. His eyelids tighten, pained wrinkles expose across his forehead. Togami feels almost sick to watch, the nausea bubbling its way towards his mouth. He wants to stay strong, for Naegi, even though he's unsure if Naegi will survive or not. No, wait, that's false, obviously, he's going to die. There's no way on Earth something could save him, his lover.. miracles simply do not exist. Togami accepted that fact long ago, perhaps when he first arrived at Hope's Peak was the beginning of his acceptance that no higher being or authority can hear his desperate calls for mercy. Though he's a Togami, he should not have to call for mercy.. right?  
  
Of course not.

_Bang._

Togami shudders, eyes still glued onto Naegi, where else could he look but before the very own death of his lover? ...  
He wonders, what he could have said, what he could have convinced everyone to think instead of going along with Kirigiri's entrapment plan. Well, wait.. did he even go along with it? Did he howl and roar against everyone's beliefs, desperately trying to pin Kirigiri as the culprit as he had been attempting to do all along? Or, did he truly cave in, and blamed Naegi, because it seemed easier..?  
  
Because it benefited him, for some cruel reason?  
  
He can't remember. He doesn't know, the memories have faded into an indiscernible fog without warning. Togami believes the panic had set in when the final vote was cast onto Naegi, and the entire case had been thrown out of his mind.  
There was nothing to say. Togami can't even tell what pained expression he was holding as he is watching it all unfold. He knows he hasn't vomited yet, though, even then he is not entirely sure. Everything is blending... the case, the time he and Naegi spent together: during free time, during investigations, during night time, it's all hazy, almost as if life itself is flashing before his eyes. Selfish, he will survive but Naegi will not, yet he is the one who is melding memories together frantically before he loses the whole person altogether..? Pathetic. Togami grips his knees harshly, the sharp, manicured nails of his grated into the tender skin. It might have been enough to bleed through the dress pants. Harder, and he might have found the jackpot, winning himself a lucky ticket to temporary relaxation.  
...Few seconds pass. It feels like nanoseconds, the blood stained through the knee areas of his pants. Togami wonders what sort of exhilarating cuts he made with his own fingernails, however, that doesn't matter at the moment. He hears another bang and swiftly looks up, beads of tears went slipping from the corners of his eyes. Though, he does not recall letting the water pool in his eyes.  
"M-Master-!" Fukawa blabbers, Togami figures she was staring at him. He quickly forgets about that, though, and leaves Fukawa's annoyed, confused expression and looks fixedly upon Naegi once more. He wouldn't bear to leave his eyes.

_Bang._

This time around, Naegi finally notices Togami. His eyes widen, though they didn't adjust more than the expression he had before, and his lips parted as if he were going to say something. No words come from him, though, and looked as if he had just swallowed an invisible pill with no water to follow. His eyebrows remain furrowed and similar to Togami's, his gaze was fastened on his lover. He notices Naegi's irises flicker down, though he does not seem to make another physical movement. Naegi only blinks and peers at his boyfriend.  
"I love you," Naegi mouths wordlessly, though the phrase meant the same, if not even more for Togami. Togami, although shakily, repeats it. "I- love you too,"  
Almost as if it was a gong going off in his head, ringing for eternity, the final bang came, before the death. The death of the Ultimate Lucky Student.

_Bang._

He couldn't look. Not even if someone forced him to. Almost as if someone told him he would lose all his money if he were to look, though that is obviously not the case. Not even that would be awful enough as this is.

  
It's excruciating, feeling as though it were taking years until he would see pink, splattered against the piston, the blood of who he thought he could save. Who he thought he cherished, and trusted, clearly he did not care enough about Naegi to go out of his way. Togami shed only a single tear silently, though he was not aware. He reluctantly opened his eyes, maybe one peek wouldn't hurt.

Togami hears the switch of a TV, perhaps, go on and off, and looking up, it flashes Alter Ego's face on the screen. The piston stops moving, buffering from giving Naegi's unwelcome fate. Alter Ego disappeared, though the cyan-colored background remained. Naegi's eyes unzip themselves, wavering towards Monokuma's confused look, before shifting his gaze to the inert piston. The conveyor belt keeps going, though, and it slowly inched Naegi forward until he falls down the abyssal-like chute along with the desk he was trapped onto. The execution scene faded to black, and Togami climbs onto his feet, his body feeling rather cumbersome. He was a little out of breath, as well, and locked his knees, crossing his arms, attempting to seem unfazed by this event.  
He did not consider the possibility of Naegi surviving the fall down the chute. It couldn't be, his reasoning was too clouded with emotion to consider any hopeful possibility.  
  
The courtroom lit back up once more, though a dark question was left hanging in the air. Everyone started chattering, though, it only seemed like incessant rambling to Togami. That was until more people than just Fukawa start to gaze up at him. Togami clenches his teeth. He clears his throat, glaring at no one in particular.  
"It was Alter Ego. They might've saved Naegi from the crushing piston, however, the chute might have been long enough for him to be crushed underneath the weight of the desk at the bottom." Togami notes to the rest of the group. He repeats that phrase in his mind, over and over, like a scratching record, until he finally understands the message. Naegi is dead. The sickening imagery didn't cease, Naegi's body becoming mangled and irreparable underneath the heft of the desk. Pink blood spraying amongst the floor and walls, leaving Naegi in indescribable pain, killing him slowly and painfully.

Peering at Kirigiri, he watches her lips move, though hears nothing but muffled strategies coated in superficiality to hide from Monokuma. At least, that's what he thinks she would be saying after she successfully framed his lover. He feels no urge to libel her, though. He feels strangely empty.  
  
Togami's brain was pounding, the resonance of grief was deafening his mind. Like a mallet, pounding into his hearing, he had no immediate desire to listen to the group. As if life has no meaning anymore. If he could not suffer a similar fate to that of his late partner, there is no more life to live. He must feel the same pain, if not more, just for Naegi. Togami figures he could make it up to him and his own morale if he were to do so. Besides, it's not as if anyone wants Togami to stick around, anyway. Well, except for Fukawa, but she's never cared, that was clear enough. He's sure her silly crush would go away as soon as he's gone, moving onto the next intolerable pretty person. He walked out of the courtroom, without a further word to anyone else, and did not let any of them see the immense grief and emotion he felt behind his impenetrable facade. He heard yells thrown towards his way: concerned, angry, confused, whatever they wanted to feel, he could not hear. He did not want to.  
  
\---  
  
With a trembling hand, Togami holds his dorm key, and disappears into his room, managing to lock the door behind him.

Sitting on top of his bed, after practically collapsing onto the silky, soft textured material, Togami loses his thought into his past, the classical harpsichord and velvet furniture sat on the borderline of his mind. Meanwhile, Hina and Fukawa were banging on his door, their bothersome yells and hammering edged away from Togami's thoughts. His breathing slows, although his head wildly ran with rotten memories he had once forgotten.  
  
Togami's father seized his left wrist, with which a few teardrops resided on one or two fingertips. Wrathful, cold, hushed words bit Togami's brain just as offensively as they had when he was small, perfect fingernails incised into his delicate, porcelain white skin. Being forced into his room, disoriented, head spinning with confusion. He had only silently teared up more.  
Hissing with a troubled mind, Togami sniffles. He curses himself under his breath, being like this, being so vulnerable, and for what?  
  
One stumble, two wrong steps, three seconds until someone had to say something, point out his trivial mistake. Blow it out of proportion, sent to his very own figurative time-out corner. Forced to be silent for the rest of the day, his family conversed quietly with polite timbre at the narrow dinner table, as he sat with his head up high, still practicing full manners despite his own feelings.  
  
Togami whimpers, his face shoved into his palms, hot tears slowly, quietly flowing from in-between slightly open fingers. Apparently, taking even one look at himself or what he managed to block out temporarily just.. breaks him. He sobs gently, no sound in the room except for his breathy cries.  
"I'm s- sorry, Makoto.." He whispers, hoping Naegi's spirit if he were out there, would hear his few but meaningful tender apologies. Togami clutches at his chest, head bowing down in shame and despair. If only he could only murmur such sweet nothings to his lover's ear, with his fingers grazing the soft, silk-like brunette hair.  
He'd give anything to do so.

He was so useless, so worthless, had his family name faded into insignificance somehow? Did it not influence his actions, his perseverance, just as it had before? It was simply fruitless. He was not needed here, not anymore.  
His smarts, similar cold, calculating demeanor, and determination to solve a case can just be handed off to Kirigiri. She's better at it than Togami is, anyway, he figures. His mind recalls back to the previous case, another he supposes he did not have a correct, solid conclusion for. Naegi was better at it than him as well, in fact, more passionate about unfolding mysteries and disputed claims than anyone he knows. Togami's anxiety had also gotten in the way of his own conclusion, he remembers when he had to run to the nearest bathroom as nausea took over his body. The bile that came up was not unlike the bile that appeared during Naegi's execution. Although this will most certainly not end the same way as the last case had ended, Togami knows. Not with a fitting and solved end to something that was originally so confusing. He certainly would not help, either, considering he was sitting with moist cheeks at the moment, utterly focused on his _own_ issues, stuck in his room by his own accord.

Togami's back collides with his bed, his hair disheveled by pure sorrow. The tears could not stop flowing, as he heavily and slowly drifted into a restless sleep, fortunately where his eyes could take a temporary rest. Even in his dreams, however, he is plagued by whirring, flashing visions of Naegi, just falling. Over, and over, and over again... to the same place, the same fate. Again and again, he is crushed countless times by the desk, and Monokuma looms in the background, laughing joyfully and maniacally.  
Once Togami awakes, though, he does not know how long it's been. His head pounded and his stomach growled helplessly, desperate for anything to fuel the progeny. His body shook and was slick with sweat as if he had a fever. Despite his body and mind suffering to no end, he stayed in bed and fell asleep once again.  
  
\---

"Togami..."  
A muffled, soft voice cooed from near his head. The tone was pleasant.. sweet, and silvery, just that of a bird's feathers. It had only wanted him to doze off for longer. They said no more than his name, so no one should've expected him to be bothered. A small finger poked his cheek, however, and Togami was forced to reluctantly crack one eye open to look at whoever decided to annoy him.  
"Heh, hey sleepyhead.." Naegi, with a small smile, spoke lightly as if going even a volume higher would hurt the poor progeny's sleepy ears. Togami sighed and put on an intentionally fake look of annoyance. Peered up at his boyfriend's light hazel eyes, they looked right back at him with only honey and sugar for intentions. Naegi caressed Togami's cheek with the back of his small, pale hand, and murmured something only the two could hear.  
  
"You're very cute when you're falling asleep, you know."  
Togami chuckled happily and genuinely, his hands moved up to rest on his own chest. His gaze moved towards the sakura tree which was perched above the both of them. Togami admired the pink petals, falling gracefully, downwards onto the ground. It was mesmerizing, to say the least. He exhaled, feeling at peace, the soft blue sky that was painted around him had only made him more relaxed. His eyes shut slowly, while his mouth relaxed from the smile it held before. Naegi patted his cheek, laughing, but not to mock him. Togami stirred, slowly and begrudgingly focusing on his boyfriend. Naegi only giggled once more.  
"Don't fall asleep on me again, Togami," he said, in a more or less teasing tone rather than a displeased one.  
  
"Makoto, it's not my fault your thighs are comfortable. Also, _you_ were the one to remark how 'cute' I look when I _do_ doze off." Togami mentioned while Naegi's cheeks flushed timidly, he was still not used to Togami referring to him by his first name. It didn't mean he was uncomfortable with it, otherwise, he wouldn't allow him to call him that. Naegi knew that it just showed how much the progeny cared for him, even with the pompous inflection Togami attempted to put on. Naegi knew his words are much sweeter than Togami himself would like to admit.  
Togami adjusted himself slightly, his head squished on the brunette's thighs, a surprisingly effective pillow.  
  
"Alright then, you win. Win the cutie competition," giggling, Naegi pecked Togami's cheek with gentle lips, a mere soft touch anyone would beg for. Togami leaned into the temporary affection. A little disappointed that he wouldn't get more, he's sure he will be riddled with more and more kisses by the day as time goes on. He was about to snark that there was no competition, but Togami decided, for once, he wanted to relish in the compliment. Since, well, Naegi gave him so much. So many candied words, the small touches he gave Togami. Naegi always put a tender hand on his shoulder, or a soft, mumbling lean against Togami's stomach when he felt drowsy. He's never too much, though, he's always just right. Not sickeningly sweet, not bitterly dull, Togami never found him boring or displeasing to hear. It's like Naegi always has something new to show, or a new aspect of his personality to open up to his lover.  
  
He eyed Naegi's brown blazer and bright red tie that hung from his neck, the same uniform that Togami wore. Instinctively used his hands to adjust the blazer himself to look more professional, as if Naegi were about to go into an interview. Togami softly noted that he should look more professional since they are in a school setting. Naegi quickly fired back, however, he had confirmed that it is indeed after school and they are not even on school-grounds. The progeny sighs once more, atypically showing defeat. His boyfriend mentioned this behavior.  
  
"I'm tired." the progeny calmly, plainly answered. Naegi nodded understandingly, stroking Togami's silky golden hair as if to empathize.   
Togami turned his head, to observe the scenery to the left of him, surveying the group they came with near the benches and tables. Hina and Ogami sat at a table together, the former munched on a chocolate glazed donut with sprinkles, and the latter sipping on a protein coffee, blissfully watching the other. The two were gently talking amongst themselves, Hina stopping to giggle emphatically, then continuing with their conversation. Their rather.. close relationship was endearing, to say the least, Togami knew Naegi and himself will reach that level of relaxed bond someday or another.  
  
The other couple he could see from his field of view was Hagakure and Kuwata, the pair seemingly played a card game together. Hagakure, utterly focused on Kuwata's deck, Togami supposed he attempted to mind read what his cards were. Kuwata, on the other hand, placed down a card onto the grass and playfully threw his deck at Hagakure. Kuwata howled triumphantly, throwing his arms into the air pridefully. Hagakure only frowned, his face flushed into a slight reddish-brown. Hagakure regathered the cards, apparently demanding a rematch, as the two continued to do.  
  
Togami moved to look at Naegi, only to have seen Naegi's eyes stared right back at him. Togami huffed, quickly shifting his head away from Naegi, a dusty pink shade spread across his cheeks. His boyfriend only softly chuckled to respond, his hand shifted to the back of Togami's head and delicately combed the progeny's blond strands of hair. Togami slowly turned his gaze to view his boyfriend, a smile spread across that hopeful face of his. Naegi bent down, and gave Togami another kiss, lingering for a few seconds. The progeny leaned up as much as he could without moving his torso to kiss him back, briefly cupping Naegi's cheek as they did so. The two parted, Naegi giving his lover a similar look when he awoke several minutes ago, still nuzzling his palm into Togami's head.  
"I love you," Naegi whispered between only the two of them, his hand moved to hold Togami's cheek, rubbing his thumb across the prominent cheekbone. Togami repeated the phrase, confirming with a gentle, but confident tone. The couple remained like that for a minute or two, until an alarming scream rang throughout the park.  
  
Togami's eyes shot up towards the sky, as it turned into an inky, dull black. Every single person who was in the park disappeared, seemingly have vanished into thin air, however neon pink blood spilled under a few figures, their blood-curdling cries rung in his ears. Even Naegi disappeared from under him, Togami's head hit the ground suddenly. He couldn't catch his breath and started to weep desperately for reasons unbeknownst to him. It was almost as if his own soul was fading away from his being.  
  
His nerves shook with utter despair, and his heart could not stop racing. Suddenly, a giant figure who stood just below the clouds appeared, a black silhouette loomed over the park. Their arms were crossed and were laughing maniacally, he could not get a grasp on what was happening.  
"Why..?" Was all Togami could mutter out before the tall figure stretched out their heeled boot to step on him, it was no matter of time until he was crushed.  
  
He awakes, in a burning hot sweat. Togami shot up from his bed, gasping miserably as if he was struggling to breathe underwater and was about to drown. Coughing and wheezing, he manages to recall the nightmare he just experienced. He couldn't even begin to understand, nor did he want to. All Togami desperately craved was the sweet, tender embrace Naegi had him in before the despair engulfed his body. He shakes, letting out a crying sound, though nothing would leak out of his eyes.  
  
Maybe he is simply empty, now, that he got every possible emotion out of him, Togami wonders. What he can confirm, though, is the vulnerability he is feeling. How unbecoming of him, he decides.  
He only laughs flatly at himself.  
  
He hesitantly lies back in the bed, however, kicks the covers off of him, for he is sticking to bed with awful sweat. Togami doesn't have the heart to go back to sleep, though, so he stares at the ceiling. Shortly after his awakening, Monokuma's voice emits from the television in his room. The cheery sing-song tone only infuriates Togami, all the way through his core.

  
He's never had a heavier urge to destroy the equipment until now.

\---

Togami wouldn't let anyone see him, or the state he's in. He decided so and swore he would stay in his room until it was time to retrieve the poison.  
  
He feels nothing, of course, but he could tell that the malnourishment from over the past day or so would certainly raise a few questions from the others. Or, maybe not, Togami isn't certain. Perhaps their hatred had settled down, now they must be concerned for him.  
  
Togami chuckles, quietly, to himself. That's asinine, and even the group would agree with him on that, for once. The only people who _truly_ care about him is, well, Naegi and that obsessive Fukawa. One of the many differences between the two, however, is that he allows Naegi to touch him whenever he wants. Naegi can also say a sweet, meaningful 'I love you' outright to Togami, never has Fukawa even said she _loved_ him. Not like he would want her to, anyway, the moment she would try he'd order her to be silent.  
..Maybe he should stop that behavior, as well.  
  
Well, no matter dwelling on it, Togami figures. It won't matter soon, now will it?

  
Spending the next hour holed up in his room with his notepad in front of him, Togami holds the pen shakily, it quivers in his tight grasp. His eyes were pinned to the words he had already written so far,  
" _To every current survivor in Hope's Peak Academy,  
  
What you people had done and not held yourselves accountable for cannot be forgiven.  
You all deserve to burn in hell._" Togami winces.  
  
"Awful." He ridicules himself, muttering with a voice only he could hear, despite being the only person in his room. The paper swiftly becomes crumpled and thrown into the trash bin, on top of the few other worthless scraps of paper he had thrown out. Togami drops the pen, holding his head in his hands and wrangling blond strands of hair in-between the crooks of his fingers. He adjusts, glancing at his watch. 10 PM. If he hurries, he may be able to grab the cyanide from the chem lab. Even without a graceful note for Togami to hand a long-lasting impressionable farewell to his classmates, he's sure the death will come quickly and turn out efficiently.  
  
Togami put his blazer back on, as he had set it to the side when he was heating up. Heading out the door, he expects no one to come by or bump into him. He walks, uncharacteristically glaring at the floor as he steps up the stairs. He focuses, only for a second, listening for another set of fainter footsteps. Luckily, Fukawa does not seem to be around.  
Second floor. Looking up, still, no one was around. Good, Togami thought. Sharply trying to pass his last few moments in quick succession, his hands stuffed into his pockets, and his shoes clatter against the colorfully tiled floor. Finally reaching the chem lab in what seemed like a matter of hopeless seconds, Togami opens the door, reaching for the cyanide. He packs it away in a pocket where it would be fairly unseen and headed back down to the first floor to do the deed.

Sidling down the hallway towards the dormitory, he hears more irregular footsteps coming from in front of him. He figured it was Fukawa, it had only motivated Togami to look down further, practically at his shoes. Thus, he bumps shoulders with someone, this particular someone desperately trying to hang onto his arm, though Togami effortlessly shoves them off.  
"Watch where you're going, idiot." He spits until he finally got the idea to look up at the assailant, his irritated expression quickly fading into a softened confused one. At that moment, he feels all the pain he had experienced melt away, leaving only the raw, rough truth inside his now gold-coated heart.  
  
"B- Byakuya!" Naegi's eyes widen, a relieved cry leaving his mouth. He promptly grasps Togami's sides, burying his face into his stomach. Togami only stands, frozen and stiff, as he wordlessly and slowly looks down at Naegi. Meanwhile, Naegi laments loudly, rivers worth of tears staining Togami's unkempt white shirt. He keeps rubbing his cheekbone into Togami's stomach as if attempting to get across 'I'm here now, and I will be here forever, you're still mine'. Togami couldn't mumble even a noise, his breath coming in wobbly, shallow breaths. He only trembles an unsure hand to pet his boyfriend's matted hair, as his lips shake open.  
  
"Makoto... I, I thought y- you-you were..." Togami trails off, as Naegi sniffles, squeaking out a simple 'no'. Togami finally whines, taking in reality. Sweet, sweet reality. He embraces Naegi's small shoulders, taking one misstep, and accidentally sends both of them kneeling on the floor, though neither cared. No one was out during this specific period at nighttime. Well, except for Kirigiri... apparently. Though the two lovers wouldn't dare to move or look away from each other, for now, they couldn't bother to notice her standing near the messy scene.  
  
Naegi sobs and sobs, he closes the gap between himself and Togami and repeatedly digs his nose into the progeny's chest. Togami nestles his head on top of Naegi's, his own tears wetting the brunette's hair. He keeps choking up, inhaling, and heaving with silent sobs. His arms were tightly wrapped underneath Naegi's, his fingers barely hanging onto his shoulders. Togami shakily repeats low 'I love you's towards Naegi's left ear, tenderly giving his boyfriend the smallest of kisses under that ear, right on the soft skin. He cups Naegi's cheek while doing so, rubbing his thumb along the cheekbone. Naegi gives very quiet purrs as a response, seeming to have stopped weeping, just as Togami slowly has. They both breathe in sync, their chests heaving against each other lightly. Togami lifts himself off of Naegi's head, holding both of the latter's cheeks, adoring the peach fuzz that he could barely feel on his fingers. He gazes into the brunette's shiny hazel eyes, holding so much relief and sadness at the same time.  
  
"What happened to you? Y- you're.." Togami begins to ask, but notices a certain smell coming from his boyfriend, he sticks his nose in the crook of the brunette's neck, before cringing backward, his eyebrows knitting in disgust.  
  
"God Makoto, you smell awful, did you just roll around in a dumpster?" Naegi laughs sheepishly, tearing one hand away from Togami's side to rub the back of his neck.  
  
"Ah, well, Kirigiri-san helped me up from the trash, so," Naegi glances towards Kirigiri, who had been watching the couple grief wildly the entire time. Togami, realizing this, sharply turns his view away from Kirigiri, flushing shyly.  
  
"I didn't know she was here," Togami whispers. "What about our secret?" He watches Naegi nervously. Though Naegi looks down, seeming to focus on this notion, his eyebrows furrow in thought. His mouth opens but was quickly cut off.  
  
"It's fine," Kirigiri answers, the couple looking up at the girl who had her arms crossed, though clearly not disappointed or angry. "I kind of already knew from the beginning," She pauses, glancing to the side, seeming to check for Fukawa's presence. "Though, I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want them to know." The two look at each other, gauging the other's reaction. Naegi's mouth turns into a frown, in which Togami instinctively attempts to rub at the twisted corners, before pulling his hand away and simply holding Naegi's hand instead. Togami just uncomfortably looks to the side, away from Kirigiri's gaze, he feels it bored into him. Though, Naegi does not seem to register the tension.  
  
"Yeah, can you please.. stay quiet about it? For **us**?" Togami peers up at Naegi when he says the last word, his mouth slightly open in surprise. Caught off guard, but still treasuring that single sentiment. Us. _Us_ , Togami thinks. The corners of his lips twitch up in satisfaction, nodding.  
  
"You _will_ keep it a secret, or else Fukawa and her headmate will really be on my case. It's also not a _kawaii_ dating thing, you know. Don't treat it like one." Togami view turns up toward Kirigiri, who looks down at the progeny, a thoughtful finger resting upon her chin. Even if Togami meant those words in jest, which he did not, the razor-sharp gaze that followed those solemn words certainly would have made anyone feel on edge.  
"Very well. I don't believe you would let me get away with such things, after all." Kirigiri smirks, only a little.

\---

Afterward, Kirigiri left to her room to rest after the entire ordeal, it's quite understandable. Who wouldn't need to sleep after such an event?  
Naegi and Togami head to the former's dorm, ideally to rest as well. Togami orders Naegi to go shower or even bathe, for he would not stand the stench or even the thought of his boyfriend being covered in awful trash.  
  
Later, though, Naegi notices a certain something stuffed into the progeny's pocket. He points it out, and Togami goes to feel around for said object. Togami's eyes darken immediately when he realized, however. He pulls it out, letting the bottle of poison rest on his thigh. He hugs himself, sighing regretfully. Naegi sits comfortably close next to his lover, glancing towards the cyanide at first, then looking for what exact emotion Togami attempted to display in his expression.  
"I was going to.. kill myself. I even wrote a suicide note. Well, more like multiple. None of them were really good enough," He pauses, hesitantly looking towards Naegi's direction. "I'm sorry." Togami adds, suddenly feeling self-conscious, as he grips at his own knees. His shoulders become stiff, nervously awaiting Naegi's reaction. Though, he only feels two hands slide onto his right hand, the warmth taking over. Naegi's head rests upon Togami's shoulder, as he rubs the progeny's calloused knuckles with his own perfect, soft, small fingertips.  
  
"There's no need for you to say sorry," Naegi tenderly murmurs, watching his own thumb roam around upon Togami's hand. "Never, never say sorry for that kind of stuff.. y- you're my everything, Byakuya. P- Please do not ever be sorry, because.. because you're still here, you still m-managed to survive with me, against all odds. I'm proud of you, I really am.." He adjusts his head to nestle properly and peer up at the progeny's expression. He was regretful, though relieved Naegi did not dismiss him. He almost looks... tearful, atypical of Togami. Though, he did spend a lot of time the past few days or so bawling his eyes out. Naegi noticed it, too, the redness in the progeny's eyes and dark circles that remain gave it away.  
  
"I g-guess I should've known too, I saw some weird stains on your knees earlier." Naegi glances towards Togami's said area, the progeny simply sighing. He shakes his head, blushing out of shame, turning his head away from his boyfriend. "I, I might have harmed myself, intentionally," Togami wavers, taking in a clearly unsteady breath. He briefly scans Naegi's expression, waiting for some sort of response. Nothing was said from the other. "You couldn't have known, my Makoto, you were in the trash for a few days. And.. even I am not aware that I hurt myself sometimes," Pausing again, Togami had shifted uncomfortably. The lack of response was giving him a vague idea he was in an unsettling nightmare again. He shrugs it off. "Don't beat yourself up over it. Okay?" He turns to his boyfriend, who only nods, understanding. Such quiet, kind and caring words being spoken out of the progeny's mouth was rare, Naegi knows. Though, in this certain circumstance, with _his_ certain person, it was just soft, sweet reassurance from someone who is softhearted with only Naegi. He knows Togami couldn't act bitter towards him as he does with everyone else, so it could maybe become the new perfect norm for the two.  
  
Naegi pecks the blonde's cheek, remaining for a few seconds. The fact his lover had spent so much time, unable to focus on anything but Naegi's own potential death, unable to think of any working solutions. Naegi lifts Togami's hand, peppering kisses all over it as well. Anything to make the poor, poor progeny forget all about the grief. He leans against Togami again, closing his eyes.  
  
"Please, p-please never kill yourself..." Naegi breathes, almost so silent Togami wasn't sure if he'd even heard it. Once he had realized what exactly his boyfriend had said, however, he exhales a heavy breath he didn't know he was holding. Togami turns, facing a certain direction so that Naegi can climb onto his lap and straddle him. The two cuddle, Togami rocking the both of them gently, and comfortably.  
"I won't. I promise I never will. I will never die by my own hand." Togami answers truthfully, while Naegi adjusts his view to look up at his lover, staring into his eyes, to tell if he were admitting the truth. Not like Naegi could ever actually mind read, or anything.  
"You promise?" Naegi asks as Togami stops the rocking to look at him, deep in the eye. As if it were a direct opening to his emotions, to his subconscious. Togami only nods as a response.  
  
The two relax for a few minutes, quietly letting the breath of the other become a calming tune to listen to.  
"I had a dream earlier," Togami speaks in a hushed tone, "You and I were in it, and we weren't trapped in Hope's Peak. We were outside..." he breathes, "with the others. Hagakure-kun, Hina, Kuwata-kun, Ogami-san, they were all fine. I don't think anyone was dead," Togami continues.  
"You and I were wearing brown uniforms, along with red ties," By this point, Naegi had moved to look at Togami as he continues to explain. He furthers with the anecdote, describing the dark figure that had towered over him. Naegi focuses on the progeny's words, as the gears in his brain turn slowly, almost as if they were previously stuck onto each other with molasses.  
"Do you remember if the person had any defining features? Like clothes or something," Naegi raises, Togami considering for a moment. "No, unfortunately not," He pauses once more, "Maybe it was the mastermind." Togami lazily proposes as Naegi flashes a small, toothy smile, letting Togami know he's simply unsure. Togami nodded, understanding.  
  
He paused, though, to kiss Naegi on the lips, holding both of the brunette's cheeks, it was one of his favorite things to comfort his boyfriend with. Naegi's arms hang around the progeny's neck, kissing him back happily. Togami leans downward slightly, to pepper kisses near the same tender spot under Naegi's ear as he had earlier, along with tracing them down his neck. All of Togami's touches were delicate, however, as if holding his boyfriend any tighter or pressing too hard would break a bone, or pull a muscle.  
  
Naegi was first to mention something, as the two simply relax into each other, their heartbeats each syncing with one another. Like clocks, ticking peacefully, never faltering or malfunctioning. Just right.

"I promise.. that we will leave this place with each other, both of us alive. I'll never let you die, or get hurt. I promise with my life, Byakuya," Naegi murmurs, determined, the warmth of his breath blessing Togami's ear of which he whispered into. Togami sighed, a content sound creaking from his mouth.  
  
One single hand reaches Naegi's full head of hair, kneading the ahoge that stood from his head. Knowing this action _always_ comforted Naegi, and knew it always made him smile slightly. Togami figures his boyfriend deserves it.  
  
They deserve each other.  
  
Proving his knowledge was correct, Naegi started to purr softly, and before either of them knew it, he had fallen asleep. Togami barely adjusts his position to sneak a glimpse of his boyfriend's face. He adores the serene, peaceful expression Naegi held and used a single finger to delicately caress his cheekbone. Togami presses warm lips to Naegi's small, fuzzy cheek, though gently, because he would never want to awake his sleeping boyfriend. Especially in the state he's in.  
Togami took off his glasses, placing them on the desk near the bed, maneuvering himself and Naegi into a comfortable, lying position. He keeps Naegi protected, encased in his own trustworthy Togami arms as if his life depended on it. Because, well... it kind of did.

"I depend on you...  
you are the light at the end of the tunnel," Togami pauses, slowly closing his eyes, finally beginning to rest.

"My tunnel.  
You are my hope, Makoto.  
And I will never let you go."

**Author's Note:**

> soo this is my first ever dr fic, especially in a byakuya-centric pov, so he might be a bit ooc. tho, if you did like this, pls follow me on twitter (@.naegamimp4) or just subscribe, i promise i will be coming out with even more naegami-centric content as well! :] i hope you enjoyed it!


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